Homestuck--Truth or Dare (AGAIN)
by Sylvikitty
Summary: Another Homestuck truth or dare? INCONCEIVABLE! Rated T for Karkat and shippings.
1. A New Truth or Dare?

Sylvikitty: Welcome, welcome to my fanfic all!

**The trolls and humans grumble collectively**

Sylvikitty: Shut up, authoress me! I know that they're all happy to be there. Everyone, my name is Sylvikitty, but you can call me... *two kittens hop up from her shoulders and put her shades on*

**Wait, what? are the kittens wearing them, or you?**

Sylvikitty: ME, YOU ASS!

**Well SOR-RY, Miss Grumpy!**

Kanaya and Rose: STOP ARGUING!

Sylvikitty: Yes, yes, fine. Ok, so, you may call me... drumroll please...

**Casey== Drumroll...**

Sylvikitty: **KAITLYN HARLEY!**

Jade: Oh no, not another ectobiological relative!

John: Cool! another ecto-bio-whatever relative!

Kaitlyn: I am simply one hell of an authoress.

**Karkat== Throw Earth Tomato**

Kaitlyn: ARGH! Fine... just send us dares, please? This is a disaster anyway...

**Bold Voice== Use amazing Authoress Powers to make everything ok again**

Kaitlyn: Yay!

**Alright everyone, send me truths and/or dares in the reviews! Hopefully my guest host will get here soon and I can keep these whiners in line!**


	2. MADNESS!

Kaitlyn: Okay, everyone, here's my dares for today! *Smirks evilly* Poor Amporas...

Both Amporas: WVWHAT!

Kaitlyn: So that's what you get when you mix their quirks... hmmmmm...

**From livvykitty, my hero...**

**A rival Truth or Dare? THIS IS MADNESS!**

***hides before she can kicked into a hole by a random Spartan***

**I kid, I kid. :) Now, guess who's got dares and other random s***! Dis girl.**  
***double pistol wink***

**Dave: I swear to God, my little sister is like a six year old fem version of**  
**you. She tells me on a regular basis to get her apple juice, can tell time**  
**with absolutely no clock, digital or otherwise, in a thirty mile radius. And**  
**while I don't own puppets, I own an array of porcelain dolls she won't go near**  
**at all. And earlier, when I denied her apple juice, she started hitting me**  
**with a toy sword.**

**Karkat: Go get in a car, do a burn out in front of some cops (preferably**  
**Terezi and Sollux) and flip them off before speeding away. AND GET AWAY WITH**  
**IT WITH NO ARREST.**

**Trolls: Listen to "That's Your Horoscope For Today" by Weird Al**

**Humans: Listen to "Twee Box Puppet Show" by Hatsune Miku (please read the**  
**subtitles so you understand what's being sung). Realize that Meta rhymes with**  
**Beta. (This song escalates quickly)**

**Well, that's all for now! I wish you the best of luck in keeping these whiners**  
**in line. ;)**

**From 8thDimention...**

**Eridan and Cronos, sing the Wheatley song. Your accents will make this funny.**  
**Karkat, John, Dave, Gamzee, Meenah aaaaand, Dirk, play Slender. Kurloz, dress**  
**up as Slender man, and scare them.**

**From a very tenaciousArsnist...**

**tenaciousArsnist:TA: oh LOok, MY peSTerHAndLE woULdnT Fit.**  
**TA: ANywHOre, JOhn, **  
**TA: I DarE You TO soLVe tHE agE-Old RIddLE,**  
**TA: do KArkAT's hORns TAstE LikE CanDYcoRN?**

Dave: heheheheheheh...

Kaitlyn: DAVE! GET OFF OF THERE! NOW! MY LAPTOP!

Kaitlyn: OR DO I HAVE TO GET DIRK TO BRING OUT THE SMUPPETS!?

Dave: No, that won't be necessary ma'am...

**Because I just zapped them onto your head.**

Dave: OH F-

**Suddenly hundreds of puppet-assed muppets fall from absolutely nowhere to positively somewhere.**

Kaitlyn: Okay, then, let's get on with the dares! First, Karkat.

Karkat: WHAT.

Kaitlyn: You have to... oh my gog. Nope. NOOOOPE! Not saying it. Karkat, Terezi, Sollux, get over here and read it.

Karkat: FUCK. FUCK NO. FUCK. NO.

Terezi: COM3 ON, K4RKL3S, IT'LL B3 FUN! H3H3!

Sollux: No. Ju2t no. No way iin a miiliion 2weeps.

Kaitlyn: Okay, then, Sollux, Karkat, YOU TWO get to be the sacrifices today! *wink*

Kaitlyn: ROSE!

Rose: Yes, miss?

Kaitlyn: CALL THE FLUTHULIONURORIUM!

Rose: *smirks* If you say so! *begins chanting and (slowly) going grimdark*

Karkat: AW HELL NAW!

Kaitlyn: Aw hell yes.

Sollux: Forget thi2. 2ollux ii2 out.

**OH NO YOU DON'T!**

Karkat: FUCK I'M SORRY OKAY! FUCK!

**A lock suddenly appears on all of the doors. Hehehe...**

Sollux: Oh fuck.

**And everything suddenly...**

**DISAPPEARS****! INCLUDING ROSE!**

Dave: FUCK! ROSE WHERE ARE YOU!?

Kaitlyn: Oh, I forgot the smupprts would go away too! Awwwww...

Suddenly Reappearing Rose: Oh, I am so glad I got out of there alive. Fluthulu wanted my soul.. So I gave him doomed me's soul instead! *winks* Thank you for that, Dave!

Suddenly buried again Dave: *something sounding like "wonks" but was probably "welcome"*

Kaitlyn: Okay then! :3

Kaitlyn: Next dare! This is for all of you trolls!

**There is a collective groan. No one likes these dares. Except for maybe Nepeta, Jade, and Fef.**

Kaitlyn: Here go!

**A huge monitor appears. On it is "That's Your Horoscope For Today" by Weird Al...**

**A few minutes later, it's done. **

Vriska: I think I'd 8etter stay awaaaaaaaay from windows tod8...

Nepeta: :33*what's a copy machine and purrs

Kaitlyn: Any more reactions before we move on?

**Everyone else is speechless.**

Kaitlyn: Okay then! Yay!

Kaitlyn: We're gonna watch another video now...

Eridan: NO! THE LAST WWAS AWWFULL, AND I JUST KNOWW THIS ONE WWIL BE EVVEN WWORSE!

Kaitlyn: *Raises eybrows* Do you WANT Fluthulu?

Eridan: NO! I mean, no, Miss Highblood...

Kaitlyn: I'm not a highblood... I have the same candy-red blood as every human!

Eridan: WWHAT!? THEN WWHY AM I LETTING A LOWW-

**MOVING ON!**

**A huge monitor appears, just like last time. John and the other humans sit down on the couch and get comfy, thinking it will be remotely amusing at thr very least...**

**How wrong they are...**

Dirk: AW HELL YES!

Jake: Something wrong, Dirk?

Dirk: IT'S... JUST.. SO...

Jane: So what?

Dirk: KAWAII!

**And no one knew what that meant but me.**

Kaitlyn: Sorry guys, but I have to leave off here! too many dares! But not before...

Kaitlyn: JOOOOOHN!

John: Uh... Yes strange authoress of insanity?

Kaitlyn: Lick Karkat's horns.

**==John and Karkat: Wrestle**

Karkat: JOHN! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN-

John: *Sniggers* I want to know if they taste like candy corn!

Karkat: THAT IS NOT EVEN A QUESTION! THEY-

Terezi: T4ST3 LIK3 OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S! DU-UH!

Karkat: NO! NO THEY DO NOT! THEY JUST-

John: Only one way to do this...!

**==John: DOTHEWINDYTHINGDOTHEWINDYTHINGDOTHEWINDYTHIIIIIIII IIIIIIIING!**

**He does the Windy Thing and everyone is blown about quite randomly until...**

**John lands on Karkat. On top of Dave is Terezi, and floating above her are two startled dames (Jade and Rose). Everyone else is plopped oddly around with no particular order to it whatsoever.**

Karkat: FUCK! JOHN! STOP THAT!

John: *licking* Hmmm... they taste more like orange chalk than anything...

Terezi: 3X4CTLY! OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S!

Kaitlyn: *sigh* That's all for today, but as for tomorrow...

Dave: SLENDER!

Kaitlyn: Shoosh! Dave, don't spoil it

**There is yet another collective groan from the humans (Except for the Striders. Man, are they stoic.) As for the trolls... Well, we'll see.**

Dave, John, Dirk, and Kaitlyn: This should be fun...


	3. Hey! New Chapter!

**PSYCHE.**

**Hey, all my (probably limited) fans!**

**For Christmas, I am going to be posting a festive chapter for each of my stories. Please PM or review with suggestions for theme and/or ideas for rewrites of poems or songs such as "T'was the Night Before Twelfth Perigee" and other classics.**

**Happy Holidays,**

**The Insane Authoress (On Break!)**


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